You are my witness

You are my Witness

You saw me when I was being erased.

Before I knew I was losing,

when I might have still had a chance
at innocence.

They took it, 

of course,

and I went missing anyway. But,

thank you for watching me.

For, when I resurfaced,

a lost child,

churning with desperation for reasons, not yet clear to me;

obfuscated by some; 

invisible to many;

incomprehensible to most;

you
you recognized me - because you had eyes to see,

(and you remembered me)

for you had seen me when I was yet being erased.

And when my 13 year old self sent her cry for help out in a bottle

your shore was there to receive it,

though my mother refused the lifeline you sent: 

over my silent screams of protest.

and at 16, when my eyes came up for air, 

your gaze was already there -

to greet me;

resting with compassion on the fugitive self within,

who I dared not know I harbored, 

though her whispers echoed relentlessly about my soul:

Thank you for watching me.

You saw me when I was being systematically erased.

You were my witness.

After the escape, when my story began to unfold 

before my unbelieving eyes - 

you told me  

how to hold myself
together

40 minutes at a time; 

By day, by day, by day...    Thank you for watching me.

For having seen me when I was being erased.

You saw me stubbornly putting the pieces back together.

And when, to my surprise,

I began to thrive, 

you celebrated my successes

and my family;

never faltered over my brokenness

and guided me 

with a steady hand

 through the confusion 

of radioactive relationships with my oppressors - 

and those tainted by them,

until I was..............................finally!

all the way, free.

(mostly)

Thank you for watching me.

For being the one who had gone before.

For having seen me when I was being erased.

For loving me, because.

When I dared you not to, 

after pandora's box I recklessly thru open,

only to see the d         h of my scars

     e    t

      p

and my newly happy life come crashing down 

around me:
Thank you for watching me.

For being one of the EXTREMELY few, 

I dared risk testing:

acting out a testament to all those erased years;

my remembering.

Thank you for remaining.

for constance

for witness

for belief

& grace

                

                 compassion * wisdom * resonance * laughter ........... and Relief

I am so much unfettered suffering

I don't know, what  could possibly

                                    be worth it.

whatever    reason    the   r y t h m

 Y O U  HAVE  M A T T E R E D.

                      your existence  h a s  comforted        my soul.