I'm not ready to give up.
but i was 5 minutes ago.
I...
am haunted.
by my father
to whom i was
"a good for nothing lazy slut".
who used tactics unfit for war to mold his very own sex slave.
lucky bastard had me from birth
yeah.
as far as I can tell.
haunted.
by my brother
for whom i was a conduit
through which to understand his own
early
hypersexed
masculinity.
haunted.
by the convicted pedophile
ron ruskjer.
yeah, that's his real name. look him up.
i dare you to.
who bound me
and gagged me
and drugged me
and fucked me.
or something.
so far we've covered zero to five. (years of my life. the first)
yeah.
haunted.
by my mother.
so capable of denial
so infatuated with denial that she lead us all right down the highway to hell.
and sold us to the devil
for a little sympathy.
because empathy was too much work to ask for.
haunted...
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Before sharing a comment, please know that I write for myself. I write for my own growth, to help me become a more integrated and grounded person. I invite you to share in this journey in the hopes that my experience will resonate with those who need it to. My purpose is transparency rather than dialogue. As such I will not be responding to anyone individually via this site. If you are in need please seek help for yourself. I will, however, be reading your comments and stories with a heart wide open. If my words mean something to you, it is not by accident that you are here. May healing and hope always be your horizon!
-kaja